190 - Slight Pandamonium

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The weather's been jumping around too much lately - from ridiculously sunny and hot, to cold, dreary rain. Either way, for my pseudo-Halloween celebration (since I'm not going out on any night to celebrate it), I tried my best to dress up as a panda. I said try. There's a green bamboo pole from Daiso sitting in my room now, but at the last moment I decided to ditch that degenerate of a panda accessory in favor of empty hands and green crawlers on fences.

I got this from Taobao for about forty to fifty, so I guess I have to live with the substandard fur. (Which my cousin insists are feathers.) It has zips at the elbows and at the cuffs, and I was pleasantly surprised when said cousin was playing with the zip and pulled the whole lower portion of the sleeve off. It's detachable! /cue the harps and horns, let the sartorial angels sing! interactive clothes!/

Save the being forced to mate part, being a panda sounds amazing. Eating bamboo, sleeping, rolling around, and being admired because you're furry and fat? That's the life. Say goodbye to the superficialities of life and fashion, being rich, being slim and being pretty. Lifelong hedonistic pleasures of no exercise, hurrah!

Happy Halloween, guys!

Taobao jacket; Editor's shirt; Uniqlo bermudas; ASOS astroboots

189 Food meets Nature

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Snippets of my life, since the Sartorial Sloth has been slow in recent days. I've started to love taking photos (bearing my amateur status and utter lack of knowledge), though I think its more the editing process that spurs on the hobby rather than the actual photo taking. When Os are over, the lenses will change focus to people instead of nature. Sweet victory.

Trip to a Malaysian coffee farm, the chandelier in my living room, and Hari Raya breakfast with the family at Spruce.

188 - Esteban Cortaza

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I wanted to cover Esteban Cortazar's collection months back when it first launched on net-a-porter, but I never found the time to. The Former Chief Creative Director at Emanuel Ungaro, his designs have such a beautiful tone of sophiscation and polish it leaves me breathless. Ready-to-wear fashion exists for timeless diamonds like these. The slight cream and gold combination exude luxury, and the unique tailoring, draping and cutting is a fine touch to anyone's closet. (Read: fine touch to my fictional closet) The top photo are the cape-back duchess satin and cady jacket and duchess satin and twill shorts. Blazer and shorts, nothing excites me more than that. 

It's a seamless collection, every piece coming together perfectly with one another, and the minimal accessories designed for the collection suit every look just as well. Brownie points for caped blazers and caped jumpsuits!

Nothing will ever satisfy me anymore.

images from Fashionising

187 - Tseva Balalaika

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Life's been busy, but I can't wait for Saturday to be over. Saturday, as in six hours of exams. Either way, I've been amusing myself, way too much if you ask me, writing a fantasy story partly for my school assignment, but I decided to continue just for kicks. I drew up some simple reference photos to make sure I'm not turning into a word person - pictures 4 lyfe - and to actually update this blog! I  faintly registered the need to invest in more Copics while I was doing up this reference plate, since I was too lazy to actually do digital coloring, I just slapped a few Copic pens around for some color. 

The first three are simple outfits of my protagonist, her name is Tseva Balalaika, laugh at the surname, then realize that 'tseva' means 'color' in english, except Tseva is a woman after my own heart and wears nothing but monochromatic clothes. She even drinks her coffee black. Bless this woman. The last one is of a somewhat antagonistic character, Jil Raichev, although her hair was supposed to be brown. Right now it just looks like a saturated Lightning from Final Fantasy 13.  A snakeskin gown, with extra fabric around the midriff (because you can put oversized, thick clothes on skinny people and they still look skinny) with some green jewels left right center. 

Have a great Hari Raya guys!

186 - Bright Rain

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Unfortunately, it rained, so Erica and I were stuck taking photos indoors, and ended up in some sad, sad corridor. Nothing a bit (read: a lot) of Photoshop filters and adjustment layers can't fix though. In my head I have created multiple categories of overdressing: a) wearing too many layers when its 30 degrees out; b) wearing ridiculously high heels to simple meals; and c) looking like you belong at smart-casual dinner instead of a quick Sunday lunch.

This is the closest I will ever get to any semblance of wearing a cropped blazer or anything of that (cropped) nature. Pear shaped bodies do not appreciate emphasis on the hips. Here you will see: pudgy fingers, a sore topic for me; itchy hands that have no place to go but touching my hair; and forever visible socks. You'd think with all the money I'm willing to spend on clothes I would've invested in a decent pair of socks already. 

Panda panda.

Photos taken by Erica
Taobao blazer; Uniqlo shirt; Editor's shorts; Zara shoes; Flea, Diva necklaces; Taobao panda bag

185 - Prancing Beetle

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"I want to wear a black shirt. Ah, how about these shorts? Ok, I need some layers, take the chiffon dress. Now I need a blazer. Black bag. Maybe I'll wear the sandals since I haven't been wearing them." - Excerpts from The Mental Sartorial Math

Post finals have put me into a ridiculously lethargic mode. Add to that a slight flu (and a male-worthy voice) over the week, and you get 11am wakeups on a Saturday morning. That also means 30 second mental deliberations on what to wear. One of these days I'll show you the before and after Photoshop pictures: I am especially against the particular shade of "Singapore Nature" green. I almost wanted to make the forest mint blue and give myself wings. Not nearly colorful enough for prancing fairies and magical squirrels. 'Prancing Beetle' will be more apt. Another chapter in Slothdom.

I honestly love the last shot even though it wasn't at the same location, but the rest of the shots didn't turn out as satisfactory as I hoped, so perhaps I'll drop by there again another time.

Last photo taken by Lewin
G2000 blazer; Editor's chiffon dress; Editor's shirt; Stradivarius shorts; Flea bag; Lacquar sandals

184 - ASOS: Best under $50

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I realize my previous ASOS feature was Best Under $30, but in light of post-exams, and at least for my schoolmates, the upcoming 'prom/graduation', I think we can expand our budgets a bit. Remember dear friends, go big or go home - you would have spent eons of time searching for the perfect dress (I'm assuming so at least: I just spent my afternoon with a few friends and they were ridiculously picky), why waste the effort by matching it with shabby shoes and shabbier bags?

Above, for those who actually like color (cue: puke), a cute jewel-lace clutch for $31, for those who wish to bring a part of their grandmother to the dinner; for the color-blocking modern day shopaholic, a metal tip clutch for $48.50; a typical envelope (this trend needs to blow over pronto) weave-bar clutch that comes in varying colors for $26.50; one of my favorites for the day, a lovely digital flower print metal corner clutch for $35; and for a bit Chanel good-girl feel, a stunning lime-green metal-tipped shoe that, for good measure, also comes in white, for $49.50. Close shave.

On the other spectrum, jump into the mule craze with these lovely white metal capped heels for $40; embrace your inner hoe with flashy sequined leopard print court shoes for $35; and for $48.50, get a nice leather cross strap sandal with a hint of color just for fun, and to make matching outfits even harder than it already is. Designers.. /shakes head/

To all my fellow friends still searching for your dresses or what not, all the best, and don't forget you actually have O levels. Just had to spoil it.

183 - Panda-mic

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A minimalist approach on what it takes to be a panda. I grappled between titling this "panda-monium" or "panda-mic", but since, I shall spoil the surprise, I want to be a panda for Halloween, I'll save the former for the end of the month. China knows its animal best - a panda bag for 25 RMB. Blessed be the Taobao. Down by the shoes, I ever went through that phase where you try convincing yourself that you need a pair of Doc Martens, and then attempt to come to terms with the price and the ubiquitous presence of it on the streets. In a fit of impulse I bought this pair of suede desert boots from Clarks instead for roughly the same price, and for once in my sad sartorial life which seeks superior slothdom, there was no regret to be found. Hallelujah. 

Monochromatic weekends are stress free weekends.

Taobao blazer; Editor's shirt; Editor's shorts; Clarks desert boots; Lacquar accessories; Taobao panda bag; Daiso cap

182 - Friedrich

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I've reached Saturation Point. I don't think I can churn out a fall collection (much less get ready for Spring). The above piece is the result of a prompt on Deviantart - to design an oversized coat and fall look. I guess in some sense I took images in my head from Dmitri's recent avant garde piece in Project Runway Season 10, and the MMM x H&M white coat that could rival a goose feathered quilt. Either way, the inspiration just showed itself to me (oracle of my mind, over and out) while I was listening to Dada Life. Bless you, electronic vomit. This is basically a one-color stiff wool-blend  coat with layered ridges and a triangle shaped sleeve (See: Dmitri). The layered ridges are mainly at the shoulders and mid-calf, but there are two layers down the middle at the zip area, but they'll be hidden if the coat is zipped up. It's not fishnet, it's a mesh bodysuit, and a bootie with a clear lucite wedge and dark lucite ridges. 

On another note, I've been scouring for more inspiration, and I stumbled upon these gorgeous artworks by Caspar David Friedrich - they're not as stimulating as The Garden of Earthy Delights, but I think I could squeeze something out of these. I've finding myself increasingly partial to the little fog of clouds in the Wandered Above the Sea of Fog. Cotton wool, ahoy.

(The Giant Mountains, Chalk Cliffs on Rugen, The Wanderer Above the Sea of Fog, all images from Wikipedia)

181 - Meddlesome Shades of White

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I present you fair heed that this is an absolutely leggy post (leggy: to be filled with many legs), yet the legs that make up this leggy post are not necessarily the most amazing ones on Earth (and Mars). My Taobao stuff finally arrived the other day, and I decided that this paper white blazer would be the first piece to hit the streets. White is one of the most troublesome colors - you'd think it's an absolute color, something almost like black, but there are just so many meddlesome shades of white (passé, Christian Grey). Paper white is an amazing white, but most of the 'imposter whites' in my closet are a bit creamy beige. Just like when ASOS tells you the space boots you're about to buy are in "off white" they really mean "somewhere in between white and beige, but more leaning towards beige". 

My family managed to concoct a reason to head down to Au Petit Salut at Dempsey Road for lunch on Saturday, and intermittently between my legs and my face, enjoy some fish, soya cheesecake, and sugar. I would've put a picture of the delectable foie gras with peaches, but it unfortunately didn't fit the white color scheme. 

My eyebrows are perpetually slanting downwards.

Taobao blazer; Thescarletroom pleather shirt; Editor's shorts; ASOS boots; Lacquär necklace

180 - Goldilocks


"Once upon a time, there existed extraterrestrial sunglasses by London College of Fashion Graduate Archana RaviVarma. Since then, our protagonist, Elizabeth (currently at Slothdom level 5) has been diligently collecting ingredients from spaces far and wide to create the perfect alien. And when she finally cleared the smoke off the magic spell and took a look inside the cauldron, she was once more stunted with the question that was the bane of her living - 'Is this pure genius or pure idiocy?'" - Excerpts from Sartorial Slothdom: The Beginning

I'm not sure if I can even claim "artistic license" with this one. It does look much better in the original picture, maybe it's just my lack of a jawline or the unconsidered thought of using gold and back and wearing it with a head full of more black hair, creating the desired illusion of passe golden blonde streaks and hooligan wannabes. Asian Goldilocks gone wrong. Or perhaps it's just the general messiness that leaks into everything I do - the fringes on each side are uneven, and it really needs a trip to the ironing board. If you're still interested or looking for more proof of pseudo genius-idiocy, scroll on.

The beads are from Daiso, the lovely place to get inspired and be inspired. I've had this hologram gold string since my early primary school days, and you can probably get it from Spotlight, or just use whatever color (or transparent) that suits your fancy. 

The industry's greatest cheap gift to mankind, felt, was cut into two pieces fitting the sides of the sunglasses and meticulously spam-beaded. If halfway through you decide that this DIY will fail you, you can stop here and glue these onto your eyebrows and host your own little Chanel runway show a la fall winter 2012. Each of these pieces took me close to about half an hour or more, but just sit yourself in front of a TV and you'll find that it is the most therapeutic thing since eating. Trust me, this is the second time round I'm doing these - I lost the first ones I made.

I couldn't find the right material nor consistency for the fringe, (and neither did I find a pre-strung fringe suitable to my fetishes), so I took a chance and ordered these ripe Goldilocks one off Taobao and had to cut  each piece individually and string them through. Don't worry, you'll have your porridge soon enough.

Glue everything up, (typical sunglasses I managed to get for $5 at beadstreet in Cineleisure), and take an additional step or two to iron and trim, and you can eat your porridge and choose the biggest bed. I'll find a way to make these work. The pale pallor of my skin is telling of my inner turmoils over this yankee-doodle-doo.